With one more night to kill before we could check into our New York hotel we got as close as we could in a budget motel in New Jersey where we tried to pretty ourselves up. Being babes on a budget, this involved experimenting with a horrible sand paper-like device called Smooth Away and dabbling with blonde hair dye. Both were disasters which left us with rashes and ginger hair. NYC here come the beauties!!

As we drove into NYC it was time to kiss the silver bullet goodbye, so we unloaded the last 2 months of our lives onto a busy sidewalk and played tag as we struggled to drag everything into the worlds smallest lift and then into the worlds smallest hotel room. With no room to move we decided the best thing to do was to get out and walk, walk, walk. And walk we did, all day long until it was time to meet up with a friend from home Sara at the famous Schiller’s in the Lower East Side. We drank cocktails at the bar before being escorted to the ‘best table in the house’. A definite Sex in the City moment…

Next port of call was a party we had been invited to by one of Hayley’s friends, but somehow in the excitement we had lost the address so called upon an unexpecting local to help us with directions which led us to asking if we could pop upstairs and use his internet in his apartment. He welcomed us in with open arms and told us we should join him later for a drink at his bar Nurse Bettie. SCORE!

Josie awoke the next morning to discover Hayley had been on midnight deli run and was surrounded by pastrami sandwich crumbs and empty chip packets! We shook of the hangover with coffee’s in our favorite Bryant Park and set off again for a marathon eating/walking/window shopping day.

That night we took up the offer of our New York local Stephen and joined him for a ‘quiet’ drink in his bar….we were still playing drinking games in the wine cellar at 6am….

All the unexpected partying had left us with tickets to Lollapalooza in Chicago, for the next day, and no way of getting there! Somehow all the rental cars in NYC were booked out so we bought some overpriced plane tickets. The next conundrum, we needed a place to stay for the night and a car load full of luggage to store while we were away. We remembered a drunken conversation from the night before when Stephen offered to adopt us so we could stay longer, so we called him and gave him the good news! We also suggested he might like to store our luggage in his wine cellar….Amazingly he did. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

All that was left to do was go round 3, partying the night away. We were the toast of the town, getting customised cocktails and a whole lotta love from Mike, the best barman in NY….

And attracting new fans who were convinced we looked exactly like Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts, alright then!

The rest of our time was spent getting stuck into watching True Blood (if you don’t know you’d better get to know: a HBO vampire series set in Louisiana – when in Rome…) and discovering the delights of Dairy Queen.

Next stop was Clarksdale, Mississippi as recommended by Betty Sue (the costume store lady from Galviston). We arrived just in time for dinner at Abe’s – a legendary BBQ joint where Robert Johnson was said to have chowed down a meal before he sold his soul to the devil and soul music was born. Nest stop was Red’s Juke Joint where we pulled up a pew, grabbed a beer and enjoyed some serious soul.

We then drove around looking for somewhere to stay and eventually found this cool place called the Shack up Inn which was a huge barn surrounded by converted shacks, we really wanted to stay but were told by the manager on duty Hutch that it was booked out. We joked with him that we didn’t care sleeping on the floor of the barn and to our surprise he said we could! So he blew up an air bed and we spent the night on the stage of this incredible barn house…

The next day we were Memphis bound where we roamed the chaos of Beale street, met some interesting characters

who led us to yet another famous rib joint ‘Charles Vergus Rendesvous’ with a wait line comparable to a line for a Disney ride

The next day we headed to the Stax Museum upon request from Josie’s dad to bring him back some kind of souvenir, only to find it closed (sorry dad). So we skipped off to Graceland instead where we found ourselves morphed into lemmings

but it didn’t take us long to break free from the ‘group’ and explore the Kings pad ourselves  – it helped that the security guard fell in love with us…

Last on the musical whirlwind was Nashville where we did the mandatory stroll down the main drag and stumbled on a gorgeous little bluegrass folk band called Jypsie at Layla’s Bluegrass Hillbilly and Country Inn. We especially loved the gorgeous banjo playing, false eyelash wearing minx we lovingly called ‘Crack head’…

The next few nights we camped in the beautiful Ozark Riverways where we were spared the rain until the morning at least, and the not so beautiful roadside campsite on the Oklahoma/ Missouri border. Nights here were spent engrossed in a True Blood marathon which we were sad to see end. Sooooooooookkkkkky!!

Energized and ready to get stuck into some rocking we met up with the Austin bands as they embarked on their tour of Mid-America. First stop Wichita, Kansas where we scored yet another deal of the century at the Broadview Hotel, danced our little hearts out at Rock Island, posed for photos with our new found fans…

We then went to the after party which saw us get invited to a goddess island by the delectable ‘Ocean Momma’…and finally we turned our hotel room into a 12 bed dorm for the band members. Rock and Roll?

The next day we had our first encounter with the police for speeding a tiny 20 mph over the limit. Opps! We played the dumb blonde card a treat and were not only let off but also offered a map and directions – viva the blonde revolution!!

We arrived in South Dakota to find were the topic of conversation on a local blog site: 

http://www.southdacola.com/blog/category/boner/

and found ourselves posing for photos again…

We decided to continue our Middle America adventures to Minneapolis, Minnesota where we experienced the not so pleasant ‘Holiday Inn’ who tried to rip us off at every opportunity. We go the last laugh by pulling ye olde complaint trick and scoring another free night (Josie is excellent and complaining when hungover). The rest of our Minnesotan experience was just as grim and we have given it the cordial title of ‘least favorite stop on the trip’ You’d know what we were talking a bout if you knew about the boots…

The saving grace was being invited the Mengy (from Castle) family BBQ where we met the adorable Keagan & Macie and had some girl time discussing Taylor Swift and dancing and singing along to Miley Cyrus in her bedroom. Girls just want to have fun y’know…

Our drive out really hit the nails into the coffin when we scored ourselves an actual speeding fine which we ripped up when we were told by the policeman that if we didn’t pay it we could never drive in Minnesota again. Damn. Shortly after this we ran out of gas on the side of the road

Fargo was the next port of call, we arrived ahead of the bands and were quickly snapped up by Usher and Biggy for some serious smooth talking

Apparently young Usher was willing to give to show Hayley how Stella got her grove back! He was devastated to learn she never lost it…

In the wee hours of the morning we drove though the night to arrive at a beautiful lakehouse in Aberdeen, South Dakota. Justin, our host greeted us with fireworks and whisky and we felt instantly at home. We spent the next day stealing mummy time with Justin’s mum Marilyn and chillaxing by the lake before getting our dancing dresses on for another show

Our last stop with the bandwich was Lawrence, Kansas where we kissed them goodbye and continued our journey towards the bright lights of New York City…

So after scoring yet another amazing deal at the Hampton Inn & Suites we took full advantage of our plush beds and got stuck into some serious TV action where Hayley got her first taste of “True Blood“! The next night we tried to meet up with a mutual friend of Hayley’s, but he had his folks in town for the weekend so he gave us the numbers of his band mates to show us around instead! So we ventured off to Beauty Bar to meet the lead singer of Scorpion Child Aryn who was working there that night. We had a few drinks with Aryn’s friends from another band Castle – Tyler and Hutch and still damaged from New Orleans had an early night.

The next day Aryn took us to Barton Springs which is a natural spring in the city that is a much needed cool down from the Texas heat and then we all headed to the Jackalope for some food and a very big cocktail thanks to the owner Jason!

We then headed to Parish to watch a band, meet Tyler and dance the night away!

The next day was our first 4th July experience, we were a bit slow getting out the door to watch the fireworks on the river so we settled for watching them through the buildings instead. Same diff?!

The next morning we were due to check out of our lap of luxury, but upon being woken up by drilling with an epic hangover Josie proceeded to call management and demand a free night for the inconvenience. Mission accomplished we used it to the fullest and had another bed bound day! But even by the next day Austin had our hearts and we were not ready to leave just yet so we decided to find somewhere to camp and headed out of town to Lake Travis, but when we got there we quickly realized camping is not such a savory option around Austin and after visiting a few options (including Hippy Hollow, a nudist part of the lake that yet again involved nude unattractive men with sensible shoes) booked ourselves into an Extended Stay apartment for another week. We spent our days exploring the city, buying up big at the thrift and vintage stores and discovering the delights of Mighty Cone (a delicious slaw, fried chicken and coated fried avocado combo):

The evenings were spent meeting the rest of the band members. We went on a Bloody Mary trail with Shaun

Went to a Castle gig and hung out back stage with Tyler, Mingy and Hutch

Did karaoke with Chris and Aryn from Scorpion Child

And then there was the night we decided to get tattoo’s…

We tried to leave Austin several times, but it kept drawing us back for another hour, another day, another week! But after a 2 week stay we kissed it goodbye and hit the road again…

The next day we met up with some American friends we met earlier in the year in Australia who were in town on a bachelor weekend, so our New Orleans experience quickly turned into ’2 blondes a car and a bachelor party’ – cue strip clubs, tequila shots, stumbles, tumbles and Bloody Mary’s galore…

The hungover mornings proved to be just as much fun as the drunken nights before (I am not sure that we sobered up at all the whole weekend which might explain it!) we discovered some interesting cullenary delights:

And decided one morning to purchase a set of ‘Gnarly Teeth’ which we put in and proceeded to laugh non stop for a solid half an hour, literally falling over ourselves in fits of laughter and surprising passers by with a flash of our pearly whites. One man commented that Hayley looked like a bunny rabbit and Josie ‘just looks really ugly’!

Next stop upon yet another reccomendation by an aussie ex pat at our hotel was Galveston, a beach town in Texas – who’d a thunk it? So we ventured out for a bite to eat and met the lovely Betty Sue who invited us to come and visit her cousin’s costume shop the next day, as she thought it would be right up our ally. She wasn’t wrong! Her cousin has been making costumes for performers, shows and celebrities for years and is sadly selling his collection as he is dying of cancer. We played dress ups for a couple of hours and left with a dream dress each and a smile from ear to ear.

Once we settled into our safe house we decided the best thing to do was go rafting! When in Rome… So we raced across town to try and catch the last trip. We got there in time, but it had been booked out for the local council bonding session. We thought it would be appropriate to tag along…

The next morning we hit the road again to suggestion destination 2: Tao’s, New Mexico. When we got there and discovered it was ‘Disney Mexico on crack’ we decided to buy a tent and keep driving to Las Vegas (New Mexico, not Nevada – Tao’s wasn’t so bad it drove us to booze and gambling). We arrived at the quaint little town with not much time to spare before nightfall and embarked on a magical mystery tour to the closest campsite. We were told Patrick Swayze lived in the mountains so we thought if all else fails we could always bunk at his, sure he wouldn’t mind. We got to the campsite and set up the tent in the dark – which is always fun, then realized we had no food – which is equally as fun. But the fun didn’t stop there! As we settled into the tent for the night a thunderstorm kicked in and literally made it’s way into our tent, forcing us to sleep in the car.

The next morning we set of  to Amarillo, Texas. It was delightful, we stayed in ye oldy worldy Camalot Suites which was situated right on the highway and had a slap up meal at Denny’s which also had a great view of the highway. At least the staff at the motel appreciated our visit…

Next stop on the recommendation trail: Oklahoma City. We sweet talked our way into a great deal at a plush hotel in Bricktown and had a delightful meal at Pearls Crabshack where we were spoilt with free bloddy mary’s and crab beads, not to mention the best crabcakes ever!

The free drink theme carried on into the night which also saw us getting involved in Oklahoma history at the ‘Land Run’ monument. We blended in so well that we almost got mistaken for statues by a passing tour boat on the canal.

Last stop on our whirlwind week was Ouachita Lake, Arkansas where we continued the theme of setting up the tent in the dark and getting rained out.

We also managed to get a flat tire, which was a blessing in disguise really a we got to meet this lovely man…

About half an hour after he left the tire went flat again.